The 2021 Year In Review
Well, friends. We’re here again.
Last year westarted with a question: is this the life you thought you’d beliving this time last year? And, are you happy with your answer?
This year, here’s my challenge to you: are you moving inthe direction of the person whom you want to become? If not, how can you changecourse?
Whilst these questions can be painful and confronting, they dodemand a response. Taking time to review the life we’re living can be difficult,but the perspective it provides is so rewarding. Looking back through the year,sharing the happy moments and some of the sad, it can make us feel joyful. Whata time to be alive. I’m not saying we haven’t all faced difficulties, but thereis still light. Sometimes we’ve just got to hunt for it. We can still be movingin the direction of the person we want to be, even if the movement is at asnail’s pace. Take some time to reflect on your year, keeping digging for joyand light and love – you’ll find it.
My 2021 Review
The year started with a lockdown, something we thought we’dall left behind in 2020, but the pandemic rumbled, rumbles on. As ever,looking back, I couldn’t have ever imagined that this is where I would be. Whatabout you? How does this year look in retrospect?
We had snow in January, with lots of wonderful winter walksand box sets. I’m not sure I’m honest enough to tell you how many seasons ofBelow Deck we’ve watched (copy, copy), but I loved every second. My writing wasgoing well, and I read so many books. I worked for the NHS in lockdown, and itfelt so good to be allowed to leave the house for work.
In March we marked a whole yearsince the first lockdown. Wine by the fire and a new draft of a book.Teaching courses online and watching my spring bulbs grow. Friends havingbabies. Recording somany podcast episodes.
Then April. My favourite month of the year. I thought Iliked September, but over the last few years, my love for April has grown. Itfeels fresh and new and there is so much daylight. It feels like hope. Champagnein the garden at Easter. Picnics with friends and finally being allowed to thepub. Pints in beer gardens with extra coats to keep warm. New walking boots anda day trip to the beach with chunky rocky road slices and ice-cold cans of coke.Finally holding a copy of my second book. That long overdue haircut. Too muchtime on Instagram. Launching a new product. Running more courses. The summerhanging baskets that make me so disproportionally happy. Outdoor swimming. Rememberingthe good old days.
Finally getting away in our van. Camping trips with champagnein plastic goblets. Sausage sandwiches for breakfast and watching England playon our phone TV screen. This.is.the.life. These were some of the mostincredible days. The simple life is what I love. I know I’m happiest on a windybeach with sand on my shoes and sea salt in my hair. No make-up selfies as westride towards a pub at the other end of the shore. How can I spend more dayslike this?
Supping in the sea. Visiting new places. Hikes and long overdueget-togethers. BBQs. A wedding! Exhaustion and more champagne. That time webroke down on a smart motorway in a heatwave. I’ve always wondered what thatwould be like. I don’t need to wonder anymore. The story about the AA man andthe washing-up bowl. That iced coffee that never tasted so good. Cuddles withthe babies I hadn’t seen grow. More books! Hen parties and hugs with strangersthat turned into friends. A chance job application, that changed everything.
I bought my first car. I turned 33. More beach trips.Standing in front of the class delivering my first four-hour lecture and reallyfeeling alive. Seeing my brother after nearly two years was also one of thehighlights of my year. And staying for two coffees. I’m going to write aboutthe power of the second coffee, because it’s life changing.
Another beach trip. More SUPing in the sea. Walks with mybest friend. Blinking and it’s winter. Another glorious wedding. That time wesneaked into the outdoor pool at the spa and felt like we’d won at life. Travellingto another country, hopping on a plane after nearly two years of being here,was simply incredible. But travelling there to see my brother in a place heloves was the best part of my year.
Finally having drinks with friends in someone’s house!Laughing at nothing. Espresso martins at 2am. So many weekends away. More walksin the rain with my best friend. Thebest Christmas day. A New Year’s Eve for two (again), and the promise that 2022will be the best year yet as we welcome a four-legged friend into our family.
The Honest Truth
If I’m honest, I’ve spent most of 2021 with my fistsclenched. Knuckles white. Moon shaped marks on my palms, a hangover from theimprints of nails piercing the flesh. Ready to defend. Gripping on for dearlife. Unwilling to let go.
This wasn’t my intention. But when your fists are closed,it’s hard to dance, it’s hard to hug, it’s hard to type and writing is myexhale. So, as you can imagine, it’s been a difficult year for breathing.Because with an exhale, we gain space.
My hope is that in 2022, I can start to unfurl my fingersagain and remember how to live my life with my palms open. With space. Space iswhat I’m seeking in 2022. It’s my single goal. What’s your hope for 2022?What’s your goal?
Whilst it’s easy to glance back at a year and see pain,anxiety, or fear. It’s also easy to miss the delicious joy, the good bits. Thesimple parts that make life so great. The parts of the year that werebreathtaking because they were so beautiful.
The lessons from 2021
My gratitude for the people who love me has only increased.At times, I’m incapacitated by their love. It feels undeserved, too much. AsifI’m not good enough to receive it. But it’s the invisible strings that lift meand my hope is that when their strings are slack, my strength is enough to liftthem too. You see, what makes love so wonderful is that it’s unconditional. Butwhat makes love so hard is that it’s unconditional. We can’t love others with conditions.We can’t love ourselves with conditions. It’s hard to live this. But we musttake and give as we are. It’s a lesson that I’ll keep striving to live out.Even though at times I fall and fail. It’s one, I think, that’s worth learning.
2021 has taught me that when we hold space for the people welove. We stop the walls from closing in. We let the light in. But we must also ensurewe hold this space for ourselves. This feels hard.
Sometimes I feel I’m living two parallel lives, the one Iwant, the one I’ve dreamt of and the one I’m in. At times, they dance and meet,and it feels like my life is on fire. Like I’m the person I’m supposed to be.That I act in the way that aligns with my soul. I feel real. And at othertimes, I’m floating on the parallel line below. Always missing the mark. Alwaysdisappointing the person I should be. Always reaching, but never grasping, thelife I can imagine. I can see the one I want. The person is the happiest personI’ve met. It feels like a possibility; I hope it’s an inevitability, but italso feels like that person is so far away. It’s a lifetime’s work to reach her,to create that life. But each day is a fresh start, each week a chance to startagain, each year a new beginning. It’s an exciting challenge.
Whilst I’ve managed some travel this year, and the lots ofdelicious weekends away, this year the journey has mostly been a personal one. Insteadof jet setting to beaches, I’ve been to dark corners, places that have scaredme. But each year, the clarity of my dreams becomes more vivid. Which is whyit’s about the journey, the stories, and the people we meet along the way.Clichés are cliches for a reason. It really isn’t about any destination. It wasnever about the destination.
Thiswas the soundtrack of my year. My brother introduced me to Chillhop and I’min love. I pretty sure everyone else figured this out back in 2017. But it’snew for me. It’s classed as Lo-Fi music. Low Fidelity. This means it’s notperfect. It wasn’t even meant to be. It was made to sound fuzzy, or broken andmessy. And it’s why I love it.
Moving Into a New Year
You’ve heard of the Pareto Principle, right? My new goal isto figure of what my 20% is. Where do I need to spend my time and energy to getthe best results? The rest I’m leaving behind so I can gain the space I need. Ourtime is not infinite, it’s the most precious and expensive thing we own. I’mgoing to be more careful about how I spend it this year.
Here’s to 2022. How lucky am I to not even begin to imaginethe exciting things that will happen. Here’s to hope. Here’s to more laughter.Here’s to gratitude. Here’s to living fully. Here’s to the journey of joiningthe parallel lines. Here’s to creating space. And finally, here’s to writingmore stories.
Let go of the shoulds, the wished I’d, thepressure. Make space for new people, new stories, new perspectives.
How to Review Your Year
This is the fourth year I’ve created a year in review post, 2018,2019, 2020 andnow 2021. At times I want to cringe at what past me wrote, I can’t deny herhonesty. I’ve always questioned the point in sharing words if they’re not goingto be true. Warts and all. We’ve got to be all in for each other and all in forourselves, and that starts with the truth. So, take some time this year to review yourlife. You don’t have to share it, but having a true record of your thoughts andfeelings can be immensely powerful. Looking back, you’ll see how you’ve grownand changed, you’ll start to see themes and highlights. Eventually, you’ll beable to shape a life you love with ease, when you know what you want it to looklike.
Start with photos. Head back to the 1st of January 2021 and move through each day, week, each month. It won’t take as long as you think. But the pictures we save on our phone are a portal for us to enter. We can see the lens we’ve looked at life through. You can see the stories you’ve told and the ones you’ve been part of, simply by looking at the snapshots of the world you’ve saved.
Start making notes as you move through the photos, ideas, memories,lovely phrases, or a simple description of what you did. Can you link anytogether? Can you identify highlights? Are there significant periods that missing?Is there a reason why?
Then move through the prompts below.
Your Year in Review Prompts
- Make a timeline. Looking back over the year,what were the key events, moments, or season that stuck out.
- Make a list of all the wonderful things youachieved that year.
- What memory sums up the year for you?
- List all of the wonderful things you did.
- Can you reflect on the lessons you’ve learnt?
- How do you want to move forward from 2021?
- Can you summarise how you’ve grown or changedthis year?
- What are you proud of?
Once you’ve gathered your notes, set a timer for twenty minutes and just type. Write about your year. Don’t worry about editing or changing anything. Simply collate your thoughts. Then sit with this for a few days. Come back and edit sections or add parts you’ve missed. Save this, share it, hide it. Whatever feels right for you, but look back on it as you reach the end of 2022. You’ve saved part of your story, you’ve documented your life, and that’s something you’ll never regret spending time on.
I'd love to know if you've written a review of your 2021. Email storiesfromabackpack@gmail.com.
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